What I learned today

This is what I learned today. I was pretty happy as it made my job a lot easier. If it doesn't make sense, don't worry about it. The second one doesn't make 100% sense to me either. I just know it works.

The first formula
=IF((AND(E3>=G3,E3>=I3)),"yes","no")
takes the number in cell E3 and determines if it is greater than or equal to the number in cell G3. It also check if E3 is greater than or equal to the number in cell I3. If E3 is greater than or equal to BOTH of those other numbers, then it writes "yes". If it is not, then it writes "no".

Example:

E3 G3 I3
8 6 7 - yes
5 5 3 - yes
6 7 5 - no



This formula:
=SUM(LEN(A2:A2613)-LEN(SUBSTITUTE(A2:A2613,"yes","")))/LEN("yes")
Is ridiculous. What this formula does, is counts the number of times the word "yes" appears in column A, from cell A2 to cell A2613. So there is 2612 yes or no's down column A. This formula counts the "yes" instances and spits out the total number. In my case, it was 906. That saved me from having to count it myself. The odd thing about this one, the website where I learned this said this second formula is an "array" formula. I don't know what that means. But it said I had to hit ctrl+shift+enter to make it work. Before I hit those three keys, nothing was happening and I got an error. Once I hit them, BAM! 906 comes out.

Baseball League(s) Scouting Reports

Who's Who in OneMan

Blue Steel - aka Allan. He was the second best sales rep at Microdental.(you like that Allan?) Last year finished in third in the Awesome Baseball League.

The Oneders - An extremely awesome person. Founder and reigning champion of the Awesome Baseball League. aka Mike

IH8BaseBall 2K6 - Football commish. Fairly decent guy despite having attended u of m. (That's right... lowercase) aka Josh aka Columbian Supremo.

New York Yankmees - aka Miller. Obnoxious Yankee fan (is there another kind?). Works with me currently.

Bayside Shortfuse - aka Fran. Knows more about baseball than Bud Selig. Fair judge of baseball trades. Potential second place finisher behind me.

Meat Whistles - The hardest of the hardcore. Meat Whistles aka Big Jorg runs a gambling ring on the east coast. Once killed a man for sneezing. Leaves the fridge open too long.

BALCO BOMBERS! - aka Shawn. Giants fan. Bums me cigarettes. Has no problem telling people off when he's loaded.

Bicsak Bigsacks - aka Bill. My roommate from MSU. Possible Tigers fan. Was once known as "Bill the cock".


Who's who in Spring Training Pants

I did this intro in another league but in that league I'm the commisissioner and I know everyone. Here? Not so much. So if I don't know, I'll try to guess.

Danish Destroyers - aka A-ron. Commissioner, Commish, Jorg. Reigning champion. Has trouble really dominating in fantasy baseball despite having both the NL and AL MVPs on his team. Possible steroid user.

Bay Area Pride - aka I don't know. I'm not even sure what his first name is, but for some reason I think's Bruce. Possibly knows kung-fu.

Bay Area Biznitches - aka Fran. Knows even more about baseball than Jorg. Fair trader. Last name in ends in a vowel. Lives in New York. Possible mafia connections.

The System - aka Mike Taylor. Perennial cellar dweller. Shows poor judgement in trades. Posts a lot. Possibly awesome.

Memories of Gibson - aka Iverson (Iversen?). Dodgers fan. Thinks highly of Darren Dreifort. Past champion. Fantasy skills eroding with age. Possibly has a goatee.

tandana - aka Ankur. Rookie. Lives in Boston. Tends to choke in fantasy baseball. (You like that? They don't even make a medal for fourth.) Possible inventor of the cure for cancer.

Game Over Gagne - aka Mario. Wears a red hat with "M" on the front. Black mustache. Red shirt. White gloves. Brown boots. Blue suspenders. Looks exactly like Super Mario. Possible video game character. Click here for a picture: http://www.maxoengc.com/mariostory/images/mario-debout.jpg

SF Yellow Sox - aka Siu Yung. League financial enforcer. Excels at finishing in second place. Only likes two for one trades where he gives two and gets one. Definitely knows kung-fu.
3fingermordecaibrown - aka Uk Sok. Tends to come out on the positive side of trades. Seeking elusive first-ever league championship. Possibly dislikes white people.

Rented Mules - aka Stickboy. Rookie?. Loves macaroni and cheese. Possibly named Brian.

Colin's Cakedogs - aka Mitch. Likes to vacuum. Has never been league commissioner. Wears blue shirts. Possible rodeo champion.

vergacabeza - aka Diger. Takes creatine. Wears gray shirts. Is open to trades. Even better at finishing second than Siu Yung. Possible wise-ass.


Who's who in the Awesome Baseball League 06

In my third and final installment of the who's who, I'll be covering the Awesome Baseball League 06.

Miyagi's Revenge 2 - aka Mike. League founder and commissioner. Reigning champion. Lives in CA. No discernable weaknesses. Possible two time champion. Awesome.

fo rizzle - aka Hazem, H-Bomb. Walks like Egyptian. Lives in S.F. Possible FBI agent.

My Left Shoe II - aka Allan. Last year's third place finisher. Enjoys long walks on the beach and winning fantasy leagues I am not in. Lives in CA and TX. Possible two time bronze medalist.

Bye Bye Baby Brigade - aka Shawn. Rookie. Talks a lot of crap. Giants fan. Lives in CA. Possible steroid supplier to Bonds.

Rocky Mountain Oysters - aka Bondo, Corey. Man, myth, legend. Second place finisher last year. Has amazingly bad fantasy sports luck. Lives in CO. Yankees fan. Possibly responsible for Jeremy Giambi's non-slide.

Bicsak Bigsaks - aka Bill. Rookie. Lives in MI. Former college roommate of mine. Former pimp. Current father of one. Possible father of hundreds.

SandwichDankNugget - aka Pink, Randy. Makes excuses like "I'm more of a football guy" to cover gross ineptitude in baseball. Lives in TX. Possibly drives a Chrysler.

Brokeback Boyz - aka Marcus. Lives in MI. Enjoys Brokeback Mountain. Has trouble quitting you. Possibly enjoys french fries.

Knickerbockers - aka Dave. Lives in CA. Rookie. Big time A's fan. Not a fan of Soriano. First timer in fantasy baseball. Possibly knows more about the A's than Billy Beane.

Darn Gremlins... - aka Brett. Lives in MI. Not really a baseball fan. Favorite fighting move - the Chicken Wing. Possible mail order monster.