Poker Tips

Yeah, I'm kind of a poker expert. I've provided some "moves" and "tips" below. Be sure to use them often to win card games.

Sometimes it's a good move to pull off an "Opposite Bluff". That's when you fold on a really good hand. People never know what you are going to do next. In fact, if we ever play cards, that's a really good technique to use on me. I'll fall for it every time. It works great if you fold immediately after a big raise. That's when it's most effective.

Another good move in poker is called "The Robbery". That's when everyone is laughing and having a good time, then you pull a gun out and tell them to give you all their money before you kill them. Then fire a shot into the air. The key to this trick is actually shooting someone right away, so the others know that you are serious.

The third move in your expanded repertoire is called the "Bad Beat". Ask everyone if they know how to play LA style poker. Then when they ask how, you say "In LA poker, four clubs beat a king." If no one laughs or gets it, punch them in the mouth.

Well, that's about all the time I have for poker techniques. Have a good one, and remember... there's no such thing as a bad hand, just bad mother f@ckers.