Science Project
This is a story of invention. A story of genius. A story of an idea borne in desperation that ultimately led to the invention of a device so useful, it has never again seen the light of day.
That's because this particular device is meant to be used at night. This is the story of that device.
It started in middle school, which is as good a place for things to start as there is. It was an assignment, "You," it was said to the class, "are to come up with an invention and show it to the class." I took this personally. I needed an invention, something as practical as Tupperware. Something as amazingly simple as, I don't know, the wheel I guess.
I'm a fairly lazy bastard so of course I didn't start on this project right away. I had two weeks. Two whole weeks where I could fuck off and do whatever I wanted. Because, hey, you are only a kid once.
Of course now it was the night before the project was due, and not only had I not made anything. I hadn't even thought of anything. What the hell do I know about invention? So I took an old winter glove and the reflectors from my bike. I then taped the front (or "white") reflector to the palm of the glove and the rear (or "red") reflector to the back of the glove. Thus was born... the Reflector Glove!
Talk about your half-assed projects. I still laugh to think that I actual turned it in. I had to write a brief blurb about what my invention was to be used for. My blurb read something like:
"The Reflector Glove is to be used while riding your bike at night. Then when you want to make hand signals for your turns, cars behind you will see the reflection from your glove and know that you are turning."
Talk about your bullshit. It's good to know that even at a young age I was able to do a project half-assed, and then try to bullshit people into believing it was actually a good idea. The Reflector Glove? Really?
For the record, the Reflector Glove and me its inventor received a C on this project. Even worse, I remember being upset at getting a C on it. In general I was a decent a student, and I was not at all happy about getting a C. I can still remember the words of my Big Brother on the whole thing. "Well," he said, "what did you expect? It was C effort."
In retrospect, I think it was an extremely generous C, both on the project and on my Big Brother's assessment of my efforts on it. I mean, come on, the Reflector Glove? What a piece of shit.
That's because this particular device is meant to be used at night. This is the story of that device.
It started in middle school, which is as good a place for things to start as there is. It was an assignment, "You," it was said to the class, "are to come up with an invention and show it to the class." I took this personally. I needed an invention, something as practical as Tupperware. Something as amazingly simple as, I don't know, the wheel I guess.
I'm a fairly lazy bastard so of course I didn't start on this project right away. I had two weeks. Two whole weeks where I could fuck off and do whatever I wanted. Because, hey, you are only a kid once.
Of course now it was the night before the project was due, and not only had I not made anything. I hadn't even thought of anything. What the hell do I know about invention? So I took an old winter glove and the reflectors from my bike. I then taped the front (or "white") reflector to the palm of the glove and the rear (or "red") reflector to the back of the glove. Thus was born... the Reflector Glove!
Talk about your half-assed projects. I still laugh to think that I actual turned it in. I had to write a brief blurb about what my invention was to be used for. My blurb read something like:
"The Reflector Glove is to be used while riding your bike at night. Then when you want to make hand signals for your turns, cars behind you will see the reflection from your glove and know that you are turning."
Talk about your bullshit. It's good to know that even at a young age I was able to do a project half-assed, and then try to bullshit people into believing it was actually a good idea. The Reflector Glove? Really?
For the record, the Reflector Glove and me its inventor received a C on this project. Even worse, I remember being upset at getting a C on it. In general I was a decent a student, and I was not at all happy about getting a C. I can still remember the words of my Big Brother on the whole thing. "Well," he said, "what did you expect? It was C effort."
In retrospect, I think it was an extremely generous C, both on the project and on my Big Brother's assessment of my efforts on it. I mean, come on, the Reflector Glove? What a piece of shit.
posted by Mike at 4:16 PM
1 Comments:
what do they expect out of middle-schoolers anyways?
If you went about solving cold fusion, I am sure they could find an error in the mathematics behind it.
A friend of mine (Chris) invented an olive spoon, which was bent at 90 degrees to scoop olives from a jar, and had a serrated edge for cutting...
Whoopy. I think safety at night on a bike is far more practical from a middle school point of view.
No one put any effort into their middle school assignments. Ideas are hard to come by and they can't judge you on the quality of said idea, if my adult self is able to make any judgements whatsoever.
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