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I haven't updated this thing in years. Is this still on? Can you hear me in the back?

This Story Moved Me

I can't really explain why, it just did. Aside from the presence of the laughing lady news anchor and the "Yes, yes very nice" serious male anchor the video is nice too. It's just one of those things two people share and can't really be explained to anyone else. You know, it's always the weirdest things that mean the most.

http://www.wltx.com/FYI/story.aspx?storyid=39760

ECS (A short history)

Founded in 1911 by Elias B. Inc. and his brother Escrow K. Inc. - Escrow Closing Services, Inc. has been a close partner of E-LOAN in recent years. It was only within the past few years that they achieved the much sought after “Subsidiary” status.

Escrow Closing Services, Inc. (ECS for short) originally started as a bathtub manufacturing company in Atlanta. It was a moderately successful enterprise for many years.

During the 1940’s ECS made a change from making bathtubs to manufacturing jet airplane engines for the United States government. After the conclusion of the war the brothers had a falling out. Elias and Escrow disagreed over the direction to take the company in the post-war era. Elias pushed aggressively for the company to continue making jet engines. Escrow, on the other hand, wanted to go back to making bathtubs. Eventually the brothers came to a compromise and decided to make bathtubs with jet engines. Both brothers spent their fortunes refitting the factory to make and combine both products, going heavily into debt in the process. Finally, on October 17th 1956 the first Aero-tub rolled off the line.

The public, never having seen it’s like, requested a demonstration. Happy to oblige, Elias filled up the tub with warm water (and bubbles!), hopped in and turned on the engine. The Aero-tub, and Elias with it, roared off towards the horizon amongst the applauds of the crowd. Their “Ooh’s” and “Aah’s” quickly turned to “Oh no’s!” when a loud boom echoed back down the Aero-tub’s path. Pieces of porcelain and jet engine were found lodged in a large oak tree about a quarter of a mile away from the crowd. Elias was nowhere to be found.

Needless to say, sales of the Aero-tub were poor. Escrow shut down the factory and headed to California. It was there he resided until his death a few years later. The company changed hands several times and remained in relative obscurity until 2003.

It was then that Escrow Closing Services, Inc. made it’s resurgence in the business world. Instead of making bathtubs, or jet engines, or jet engine bathtubs, ECS had instead moved into the mortgage settlement services business.

Today, Escrow Closing Services, Inc. (ECS) is a wholly owned subsidiary of E-LOAN, Inc. ECS is dedicated to providing unparalleled title, appraisal and loan closing services to the mortgage lending branches of E-LOAN. ECS is committed to providing fast, friendly and efficient service to ensure that E-LOAN borrowers have a satisfying borrowing experience from application to funding.

For more information about ECS, check out your local library.

Phone Conversations in Print

So... what's going on? Not much, yeah same here. Same ole, same ole. Huh? Yeah, I saw that! Yeah! Remember when the guy... yeah you know it. That part was killing me. Right on. The wedding? Yeah, it's still coming along. Yeah, she's on top of it. I don't know. All I have to remember is to get a tux. I can't believe it's happening. I know! It's weird though, everyone I talk to (well not everyone but you know what I mean) has told me not to get married. I mean, I haven't met a single married person who told me it was a good idea. I know. Yeah, it scares me. I don't know what to do about it though. Yeah, she's psyched about it. Although I gotta tell you, I think she's more excited about the wedding than she is about the marriage. Yeah I know, a wedding is a big party and it's her day... blah blah blah. But you know, I wish the talk would sometimes center on the marriage itself. The track record in my family is none to good. You know what I mean. I don't know, I'm sure it will work itself out. I hope so anyway. I mean, how do you know when it's the right time or even right person for marriage? Yeah yeah, I hear you. "You know when you know." Well, I tell you what, I don't know. Nope. Not 100%. Well sure... Yeah... Yeah...Ok. That makes sense. You've got a pretty good head on your shoulders there. Thanks for listening to me. Oh hey, I gotta get going. I just got home from work and I have to take a crap. What's that? Yeah... well, what are you gonna do? When you gotta go, you gotta go and for some reason, I gotta go everyday after work. But enough about my poop schedule, I really do have to go. Ok. Ok. Yeah. You too! Later on man.

Rivethead

So I read a pretty decent book this last weekend. It's called "Rivethead" by author Ben Hamper. It's a true story that chronicles one man's life in a GM factory. I found it to be very real and an interesting perspective on a way of life that I have no way to relate to. Often we hear about the autoworkers getting paid a lot of money for jobs that don't require much (if any) real skill. Geez those guys have it easy... However, the mindless monotony of doing the same thing over and over (and over...) again takes its toll. No hope for career growth, no mental stimulation. Just a sea of pounding waves of dullness and repetition eroding any sense of self worth that one may have had. The bureaucracy of the personnel office and poor management decisions in general are pointed out comically in a way that screams of frustration. Eventually becoming something that is not only accepted, but also expected.

I give it an 8.5 out of 11. Different than my normal reads, but still very good. Rivethead is riveting.

What I learned today

This is what I learned today. I was pretty happy as it made my job a lot easier. If it doesn't make sense, don't worry about it. The second one doesn't make 100% sense to me either. I just know it works.

The first formula
=IF((AND(E3>=G3,E3>=I3)),"yes","no")
takes the number in cell E3 and determines if it is greater than or equal to the number in cell G3. It also check if E3 is greater than or equal to the number in cell I3. If E3 is greater than or equal to BOTH of those other numbers, then it writes "yes". If it is not, then it writes "no".

Example:

E3 G3 I3
8 6 7 - yes
5 5 3 - yes
6 7 5 - no



This formula:
=SUM(LEN(A2:A2613)-LEN(SUBSTITUTE(A2:A2613,"yes","")))/LEN("yes")
Is ridiculous. What this formula does, is counts the number of times the word "yes" appears in column A, from cell A2 to cell A2613. So there is 2612 yes or no's down column A. This formula counts the "yes" instances and spits out the total number. In my case, it was 906. That saved me from having to count it myself. The odd thing about this one, the website where I learned this said this second formula is an "array" formula. I don't know what that means. But it said I had to hit ctrl+shift+enter to make it work. Before I hit those three keys, nothing was happening and I got an error. Once I hit them, BAM! 906 comes out.

Baseball League(s) Scouting Reports

Who's Who in OneMan

Blue Steel - aka Allan. He was the second best sales rep at Microdental.(you like that Allan?) Last year finished in third in the Awesome Baseball League.

The Oneders - An extremely awesome person. Founder and reigning champion of the Awesome Baseball League. aka Mike

IH8BaseBall 2K6 - Football commish. Fairly decent guy despite having attended u of m. (That's right... lowercase) aka Josh aka Columbian Supremo.

New York Yankmees - aka Miller. Obnoxious Yankee fan (is there another kind?). Works with me currently.

Bayside Shortfuse - aka Fran. Knows more about baseball than Bud Selig. Fair judge of baseball trades. Potential second place finisher behind me.

Meat Whistles - The hardest of the hardcore. Meat Whistles aka Big Jorg runs a gambling ring on the east coast. Once killed a man for sneezing. Leaves the fridge open too long.

BALCO BOMBERS! - aka Shawn. Giants fan. Bums me cigarettes. Has no problem telling people off when he's loaded.

Bicsak Bigsacks - aka Bill. My roommate from MSU. Possible Tigers fan. Was once known as "Bill the cock".


Who's who in Spring Training Pants

I did this intro in another league but in that league I'm the commisissioner and I know everyone. Here? Not so much. So if I don't know, I'll try to guess.

Danish Destroyers - aka A-ron. Commissioner, Commish, Jorg. Reigning champion. Has trouble really dominating in fantasy baseball despite having both the NL and AL MVPs on his team. Possible steroid user.

Bay Area Pride - aka I don't know. I'm not even sure what his first name is, but for some reason I think's Bruce. Possibly knows kung-fu.

Bay Area Biznitches - aka Fran. Knows even more about baseball than Jorg. Fair trader. Last name in ends in a vowel. Lives in New York. Possible mafia connections.

The System - aka Mike Taylor. Perennial cellar dweller. Shows poor judgement in trades. Posts a lot. Possibly awesome.

Memories of Gibson - aka Iverson (Iversen?). Dodgers fan. Thinks highly of Darren Dreifort. Past champion. Fantasy skills eroding with age. Possibly has a goatee.

tandana - aka Ankur. Rookie. Lives in Boston. Tends to choke in fantasy baseball. (You like that? They don't even make a medal for fourth.) Possible inventor of the cure for cancer.

Game Over Gagne - aka Mario. Wears a red hat with "M" on the front. Black mustache. Red shirt. White gloves. Brown boots. Blue suspenders. Looks exactly like Super Mario. Possible video game character. Click here for a picture: http://www.maxoengc.com/mariostory/images/mario-debout.jpg

SF Yellow Sox - aka Siu Yung. League financial enforcer. Excels at finishing in second place. Only likes two for one trades where he gives two and gets one. Definitely knows kung-fu.
3fingermordecaibrown - aka Uk Sok. Tends to come out on the positive side of trades. Seeking elusive first-ever league championship. Possibly dislikes white people.

Rented Mules - aka Stickboy. Rookie?. Loves macaroni and cheese. Possibly named Brian.

Colin's Cakedogs - aka Mitch. Likes to vacuum. Has never been league commissioner. Wears blue shirts. Possible rodeo champion.

vergacabeza - aka Diger. Takes creatine. Wears gray shirts. Is open to trades. Even better at finishing second than Siu Yung. Possible wise-ass.


Who's who in the Awesome Baseball League 06

In my third and final installment of the who's who, I'll be covering the Awesome Baseball League 06.

Miyagi's Revenge 2 - aka Mike. League founder and commissioner. Reigning champion. Lives in CA. No discernable weaknesses. Possible two time champion. Awesome.

fo rizzle - aka Hazem, H-Bomb. Walks like Egyptian. Lives in S.F. Possible FBI agent.

My Left Shoe II - aka Allan. Last year's third place finisher. Enjoys long walks on the beach and winning fantasy leagues I am not in. Lives in CA and TX. Possible two time bronze medalist.

Bye Bye Baby Brigade - aka Shawn. Rookie. Talks a lot of crap. Giants fan. Lives in CA. Possible steroid supplier to Bonds.

Rocky Mountain Oysters - aka Bondo, Corey. Man, myth, legend. Second place finisher last year. Has amazingly bad fantasy sports luck. Lives in CO. Yankees fan. Possibly responsible for Jeremy Giambi's non-slide.

Bicsak Bigsaks - aka Bill. Rookie. Lives in MI. Former college roommate of mine. Former pimp. Current father of one. Possible father of hundreds.

SandwichDankNugget - aka Pink, Randy. Makes excuses like "I'm more of a football guy" to cover gross ineptitude in baseball. Lives in TX. Possibly drives a Chrysler.

Brokeback Boyz - aka Marcus. Lives in MI. Enjoys Brokeback Mountain. Has trouble quitting you. Possibly enjoys french fries.

Knickerbockers - aka Dave. Lives in CA. Rookie. Big time A's fan. Not a fan of Soriano. First timer in fantasy baseball. Possibly knows more about the A's than Billy Beane.

Darn Gremlins... - aka Brett. Lives in MI. Not really a baseball fan. Favorite fighting move - the Chicken Wing. Possible mail order monster.